DIY Self-Care Retreat: Come Home to Yourself

My healing journey began when I was 15. From intensive workshops for both childhood and adult trauma, to virtual courses of strengthening intuition, and Qoya in the Catskills, I've attended my fair share of self care and healing retreats. I love a retreat.There's nothing like being in a circle of complete strangers and sharing the depths of your heart, and hearing theirs. Nothing like telling your people at home that you will be unavailable for a time, and turning off your phone. Many things about these experiences fuel and charge my soul.

In my post-college life, I tended to lose myself in work. I'd go in with my values, despite working for companies that were not aligned with them, and over time it was like they wore me down. It began to take more energy to stand true to who I am and what I believe, when surrounded by others and companies themselves that had such contrasting values. Eventually I would hit burn-out, and take at least a month off from Capitalism to return to who I am.

No matter what the causing factor--a romantic relationship, a job, a friend, a death or other traumatic event-- I believe all humans lose themselves at one point or another. It happens. The important thing is that we reunite with our true selves, as many times as we stray.

A couple months ago, I was pondering what it would be like to host a healing retreat of my own. Where would I host? What kind of activities would I incorporate? What kind of music to play during dance sessions? And what kind of 'homework' would I provide? My parents are snowbirds, and have a home in Northern Michigan. They were still residing in their home under the sunshine, and are continuously and deeply generous to allow me to spend time in their spaces. One thing led to another, and I was planning my first DIY Self Care Retreat in Northern Michigan.

I reflected on the retreats I'd attended in the past, took the aspects I liked the most, and wrote up my own itinerary for a 3-day self care retreat. It became a ritualization of this reunion to self, and so it was named: Come Home To Yourself.

I want to acknowledge that I have the freedom and resources to do this work, and many do not. You do not need to travel to create a retreat! The following guidelines are what worked for me, but anyone can adjust here and there to make this work for you and your life.

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Come Home To Yourself: Self-Care Retreat Guidelines

The theme of this retreat is deep self-care. A general overview of the guidelines are as follows:

1. Unplugged Solitude

To be fully and truly present with yourself and this work, you must create the right conditions. We all seem to know everything is screaming for our attention, which makes it easier to be whisked away into the influences, expectations, or desires of others. It is vital to our health to unplug, arguably for longer periods of time. When is the last time you didn't look at a screen for longer than 24 hours? Our technology is not going anywhere. Social media will be there when you log back on. Emails will still be there for you to reply to at the end of your time. We deserve to unplug! Our physical bodies and minds simply have not evolved to take in the amount of information that is being thrown at us at the speed that it is.

For me, this meant absolutely no scrolling of any kind, and minimal screen time as a whole. The day before my retreat, I reached out to all the people who I talk to on a regular basis, as well as anyone I anticipated may try to get in touch with me-- my family, close friends, and a neighbor. This was simple for me, as I don't have a partner or children, and currently have a highly-flexible work schedule. For others, unplugging may be difficult, and will likely include setting an Out of Office auto-reply or making other arrangements. Do what works for you!

2. Daily Movement

I sense that a lot of us live mostly in our minds. Scheduling to fit in exercise, planning and organizing social events, working high-stress jobs, even meal-planning and cooking all require a lot of thinking and mental processing. When I remember that we are mammals, I consider that just like other animals, our bodies communicate with us-- pangs of hunger signify it is time to eat again, a dry mouth signals for a gulp of water. What if our bodies know more than we give credit? What if, like birds migrating, our bodies instinctively know where they need to go next?

Daily movement could be anything that gets you in your body-- maybe that's running, hiking, dancing, or Yoga. Ideally, this daily movement is fluid, rather than forced. The idea is to move in ways that allow you to access the wisdom of your body rather than an exercise or a workout. What is the body holding onto? Stress? Sadness? Tension? What does the body crave? Love? A hug? Rest? Try asking your body questions and letting it show you the answers through movement.

My movement was primarily Yoga and intuitive dancing. I found a Yoga studio in Petoskey ahead of time, and bought a few classes so that I could go every day. Intuitive dancing is a practice I adopted from Qoya-- a practice based on the idea that "through movement, we remember." Essentially, I turn on soft music and close my eyes. I take a breath and as I exhale, I just allow my body to flow through movement. The Qoya website also has movement videos you can access for free.

3. Grounding in Nature

It seems we've forgotten that we share this earth. Not only do we share this land with other humans, but the trees, the birds, bugs and bees. The natural earth helps remind me that we are all connected, even just in living on the same planet, sharing air and the water.

You can ground yourself in nature the "magazine" way-- walking barefoot on grass or stepping into a body of water. You could hike, trail run, or swim, but don't let anyone tell you that to enjoy outdoors you must be active. You could set up a hammock between two trees and take a rest. Sit on the end of the dock and peer into the waters below. Sit in the grass and study their blades. Foraging for fallen flower petals. You could simply step outside and try to decipher the words of soft winds. The goal is to engage with nature in whatever way that resonates with you. Not scrolling, not forcing, but active engagement. Ideally, accessing appreciation for the earth, too.

4. Self Reflection

This is kind of the meat and potatoes of the retreat. And I hate to break it to you, but a journal is required. You can burn the pages after they're written, or rip them up and throw them away, but there is something that happens in the mind when we physically write words onto paper. Every day, set aside time for self reflection. You can merge this with your nature time, or split it up throughout the day.

I wrote journal prompts into the itinerary of my retreat, and you can find those prompts by clicking here. If there are other topics or questions you'd like to ponder during these days of ritualistic reunion, I recommend writing them ahead of time. By planning ahead, you allow yourself space and time to be fully present throughout your retreat.

5. Ritualize It

Candles, CBD drinks, fresh mint for your lemonade, bath bombs, shower steamers, face masks, incense, crystal slabs! Anything to beautify your experience and elevate the spaces you use throughout your retreat, add it. If you're sitting down to journal, maybe grab some rose quartz, a childhood blanket or stuffed animal, and light a candle. Make it sacred! Taking the time to be intentional about the spaces you are creating for yourself is a way to remind yourself that you are worth being in beautiful spaces. You deserve to look at nice things. The somewhat 'surface-level' self love of face masks and bath bombs should not be forgotten! There is power in slowing down. After all, this is a self care retreat.

6. Just for You, Just for Fun

Yes, this retreat has some work in it, but it should be a ball! You're (ideally) on your own. You carved out time for self love and reunion. What do you want to do? The kind of fun I'm talking about does not have an end goal. Let your soul, your body guide you towards what is fun. This could be peering around a gift shop, going in with the script ready: "I'm just looking." This could be popping into a tattoo shop to flip through artist's books (this is my fun), or anywhere else you may be curious about.

Remember, we are unplugged! When the screens are off, what is fun to you? Maybe you list out a rough itinerary for your own and gather your art supplies for your retreat. Maybe your fun is setting up the projector and solo watching a movie with popcorn and sour patch kids. You do you and make it fun!

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It's only 3 days, but you'd be surprised how much clarity you can gain with a little intentionality, and the absence of daily "reality." Happy retreating!